I want to walk down the aisle to something that will make people laugh. I’m not a serious person and I’d much prefer to walk down to the Imperial March from Star Wars and make my friends giggle than something stuffy and serious like Here Comes the Bride or Greensleeves.
I also don’t like being the center of attention. I know it’s a bit unavoidable at a wedding, but I feel like playing something funny will make me feel better about the whole thing!
The problem is, when I mentioned entering to a funny song to my mum, she immediately shot it down. She said it would be all anyone would remember of the day, and if I was worried about drawing attention, an unconventional song would draw more scrutiny than something traditional.
My boyfriend thinks the Imperial March idea is funny and he’s happy for me to walk to whatever I want, but he did agree with my mum that people will talk about it and judge it because it’s not traditional, while they probably won’t notice a traditional song.
I’m not sure what to do. I don’t like the idea of my mum’s family judging my wedding right from the entrance music but I do want to hear something that means something to me rather than something generic as I walk down the aisle.
What does ‘on-the-day wedding stationery’ mean?
You come across a lot of jargon when you’re planning a wedding.
People bang on about wedding breakfasts when they mean dinner, favours when they mean gifts, and cummerbunds which… who even knows what that means?
But on-the-day stationery is one of the worst offenders; you know what on-the-day means, you understand what stationery is, but together it’s utterly nonsensical.
Are you giving everyone wedding-themed pencil cases? Or tiny notepads with the date on them, like hotels keep by the phone?!
It’s not quite that sensible. On-the-day wedding stationery refers to signs and paper pieces used at the wedding itself, as opposed to save the date cards and invitations, which are needed before, and thank you cards, which are sent after.
Hi Problem Pal. My partner and I could really use some advice on what to do.
We’re planning to marry on the 17th of April at our dream venue; we were lucky to get the date with all of the 2020 weddings being moved, and we put down a non-refundable 50% deposit right away to secure it.
We’ve been getting things organised but we haven’t sent out our invitations yet; we were planning to print them next week after we confirmed the timings with the church.
This week, we received a wedding invitation in the post from some friends who got engaged last year – for a wedding on the 17th of April!
We’re not the closest of friends with them; this is probably just bad luck rather than anything deliberate. But we do have a lot of mutual friends in common who we really want to be at our wedding.
I haven’t said anything to our friend circle yet. One close friend suggested splitting the day between weddings or asking half the friends to go to one wedding and half to the other, but I don’t think that would feel right.
I’d be fine re-scheduling our day so everyone could come to both weddings, but there’s no dates available at our venue for the rest of the year. We’d need to find a new venue, which we don’t want to do, and lose the 50% deposit, which we can’t afford, or delay our wedding even longer.
We’ve also paid deposits for the car, the band, and pre-booked the church; all the contracts say we’d have to pay a fee to move the dates, or lose the deposits if we cancel all together. It adds up to a lot of money!
We’d hugely appreciate any suggestions on what we can do.
I’ve been planning my wedding for six months and I’m already SICK of talking about it!
I feel like my wedding is dominating every single conversation I have.
Everyone I talk to, from my friends to my co-workers, asks about my wedding. And it’s always the same things! It’s like being in Groundhog Day, having the same conversations over and over!
I appreciate that my friends are just interested in what really is a big part of my life just now, but I’ve hit a point where I’m boring myself.
I don’t feel like I’m getting a chance to actually catch up with anyone, I’m just talking on auto-pilot about the same things, rather than having real conversations with my friends.
I feel like I’m two more questions about my dress away from screaming! Or eloping!!
How can I tell people I don’t want to talk about my wedding without being rude?
There are seven words no one planning their wedding wants to hear: ‘you could at least offer a soup.’
I’ve helped couples navigate tricky social situations from wayward wedding guests on Problem Pal before, from guests who didn’t RSVP but thought they could still rock up, to guests who took it upon themselves to invite other people to the wedding, but this is the first time I’ve heard of wedding guests who aren’t involved in the planning criticising everything about the wedding – and the bride.
If you have high blood pressure, you might want to give this one a miss. It will make you angry.
The thought of giving a wedding speech fills some people with dread.
I know dozens of strong, feminist, Beyonce-loving brides who refused to take their partner’s name, toss a bouquet, or have the word ‘obey’ in their vows – but gladly hid behind the tradition of their fathers speaking on their behalf at the reception.
And I get it.
There’s so much to organise for your wedding already without worrying about writing a speech.
You want to enjoy the day, not stress out about what you’re going to say.
And the thought of standing up in front of a huge room of people to read off a sheet gives you awkward high school English class flashbacks. Where do you put the emphasis on this sentence? Should every word be emphasised?!
But giving a speech at a wedding – and especially giving a speech at your own wedding – is like no public speaking you’ve done before.
How do you ask your family and friends if they would like to give toasts at your wedding without pressuring them into it?
There are a few people who I’d like to give toasts and readings at my wedding but I’m worried if I – the bride – ask them, they’ll feel obligated to do it, even if they don’t want to.
I’d especially love my mum to give a speech on the day but I don’t know how comfortable she’d be doing it. She’s been nervous doing public speaking before and I hate the thought of her spending the day worrying about the speech instead of enjoying herself, but I know she’ll feel she has to say yes if I ask her.
While I could ask someone else, it’s really the only part of the day she could be involved with, since she’s not giving me away. I don’t want her to feel left out and I’m really torn on what to do.
You’re gettin’ hitched! You’ve met an amazing person. You’ve told the incredible news to your friends and family. (And dentist, and dog-walker, and dog…)
Planning a wedding can be daunting. There’s so much to organise, to learn, to decide on — and, with everyone from your parents to your postman weighing in on what you need to have, you need to wear, you need to say and do and pay for, it can be overwhelming.
But wedding planning doesn’t have to be stressful. Here are our toppest top tips for stress-free wedding planning that keeps you whelmed.
I hate my engagement ring. Haaaaaate it. It’s gaudy and huge and not my style at all.
I never thought I was the kind of girl who’d care about carots and jewellery, but this is just so wrong. I can’t imagine wearing it for the next fifty years. And seeing other people’s engagement rings on Instagram makes me want to cry.
This should be something I’m excited about and want to show off – but when I look at it, all I can do is wonder how my fiancé got my taste so wrong.
I know there are much worse problems in the world and this feels like such a superficial thing to be upset about, but it’s really dampening my excitement at being engaged.
Should I say anything? Should I ‘lose it’ somewhere? Or am I doomed to a life with the world’s ugliest ring?
The hardest part of planning a wedding – harder than finding the perfect venue (and the perfect date), picking your wedding party without hurting anyone’s feelings, and whittling down your guest list – is finding the right wedding suppliers for your day.
Because, no matter how meticulously you plan everything else – no matter the time, and effort, and pinning you put into it – if you don’t have wedding vendors who get you and get what style you’re going for, your wedding won’t come out as you expect.