I’ve been planning my wedding for six months and I’m already SICK of talking about it!
I feel like my wedding is dominating every single conversation I have.
Everyone I talk to, from my friends to my co-workers, asks about my wedding. And it’s always the same things! It’s like being in Groundhog Day, having the same conversations over and over!
I appreciate that my friends are just interested in what really is a big part of my life just now, but I’ve hit a point where I’m boring myself.
I don’t feel like I’m getting a chance to actually catch up with anyone, I’m just talking on auto-pilot about the same things, rather than having real conversations with my friends.
I feel like I’m two more questions about my dress away from screaming! Or eloping!!
How can I tell people I don’t want to talk about my wedding without being rude?
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way – but you are far from alone.
This is the dirty part of wedding planning no one talks about: you get sick of talking about your own wedding.
Everyone will ask you the same questions about your wedding
Because it is such a big thing in your life, it’s an easy topic of conversation for people to turn to. The same way people would ask how you were getting on in your search for a house or if you’d come up with any names if you were expecting, people ask about your wedding planning to make polite conversation.
The problem is everyone does it. From the people, like co-workers or casual acquaintances, who are trying to find something light to fill a few minutes, to the people who are a big part of your day and need to know the nitty gritty details, you wind up having these conversations over and over in a way you never will with any other event in your life.
If it takes a few more minutes for a meeting to start, it’s polite for someone you don’t know well to ask about your proposal, or your venue, or what food you’re serving in a way it wouldn’t be to ask about other big life events. No one would ask how much you’re paying to de-grout your gutters or how many goes it took you to conceive.
Those life events have a limited number of acceptable questions. You may not even notice answering them again and again.
But weddings have a lot of polite follow-up questions – dates, themes, colours, wedding party, food, music, outfits, suppliers… You can get caught up, just making small talk.
Then you have the people who will be at the day. They want more than small talk. They’re asking how you’re getting on because they’re excited for you and excited to be a part of it. They want to talk about your wedding because it’s fun and novel for them.
Without realising you’re having these same chats about these same details, over and over, and what would be fun and novel for you would be talking about anything else!
So – tell them.
Tell your friends you’re tired of wedding chat
With good friends – people you’re inviting to your wedding – you can be quite honest. Tell them you don’t want to talk about your wedding and then change the subject to something you do want to talk about.
‘I feel like I’ve been talking about my wedding a lot lately, I want to talk about you. How did you get on with…’
‘I need a break from thinking about wedding planning! What did you think of…’
‘I don’t want to spoil the surprise – you’ll see on the day! But did you hear about…’
‘We can chat about that at the wine tasting, tonight is a wedding-free zone! I want to hear about…’
‘I don’t want to bore you with more wedding chat. I really want to know what you thought of…’
Answer co-workers politely – and succinctly
With co-workers, acquaintances, or people who you feel are asking more to make polite conversation than anything else, it may come across a bit better to answer their question (briefly!) then move on.
‘It’s coming along, thanks. Did you hear about…’
‘I’ve not done much planning recently, I’ve been really caught up in Netflix. Have you seen…’
‘We’re getting there! How about you? How have you been getting on with…’
Though you can hint a little more strongly for the people who need it:
‘It’s going well, thanks. Though it’s so time consuming! I’m looking forward to taking a break from planning this weekend.’
‘I think we’ll be glad when it’s over! It’s like having two full-time jobs. Right now, I’m looking forward to…’
‘I feel like I’m boring everyone, talking about my wedding all the time! I want to hear about you!’
Say it with a smile and enthusiastically push the conversation on to something you’ll both engage with, and you won’t be seen as rude.
Remember – your wedding will still be a great day (even if you want a brain break!)
You might not be able to cut off all wedding chat this way – there will always be some necessary conversations as well as a few determined discoursers – but you’ll likely find you mind it a lot less when it’s not every conversation you have.
And don’t worry – no matter how tired you get of talking about the day, you’ll still be excited to live it. It is worth it, in the end!
