Whose name should come first. If people should be cordially or joyfully invited. If your married female friends should be named on the envelope or listed as Mrs Husband’s Name (which opens a whole can of worms when it comes to same-sex, gender fluid, and non-binary couples).
But it’s important to ask yourself: do you care?
Do your friends – the people you’re inviting to your special day, the people you’re closest to, the people you know the best and care about the most – do they care about the rules an etiquette company made up in the 1700s, to establish propriety among the Georgian upper classes?
Or do they want a no-nonsense invitation to your wedding that they can decipher without a history lesson?
Unless you’re inviting the Queen of England to your wedding, I’d say you shouldn’t stress too much about the ‘proper wording’ for your invitations. (Honestly, even then, you don’t need to worry that much – she’s pretty chill.)
The wedding industry has been built on telling people they need to do things a certain way. That it’s expected. That the day will be a disaster without them. (I’m not entirely immunue from it myself.)
But those people aren’t the ones getting married. They aren’t even invited to your wedding. Why should their opinions – that they’ve plucked, wholesale, from those Georgian etiquette books – matter? Why should you have to do things a certain way just because that was deemed ‘proper’ in Jane Austen’s day?
So was marrying your first cousin, but we’ve managed to move along from that one.
Onto our step-brothers. Hey-ooh! Obscure Emma adaptation reference! GIPHY
Your wedding doesn’t need to be a certain way or have certain things or obey certain rules. All that actually matters is that, when you look back at it, you’re looking back on a happy day that’s meaningful and special to you and your partner – not a stilted, formal day you didn’t enjoy because you were too anxious about the lace centrepieces or the seating arrangements or if you should have spent that extra grand getting the platinum silver service.
Your wedding should be about you and your relationship. Not your weird lace centrepieces.
And what you put on your wedding invitations should show that. Your wording will set everyone’s expectations for the day. If it’s stuffy and solemn, people will expect your wedding to be stuffy and solemn. If it’s friendly and relaxed, even a little funny in places… Well, don’t be surprised if you get more people RSVP’ing yes!
How to word your wedding invitations
So, here’s how to word your wedding invitations, what details you need to include, and example invitation text that’s super, not soporific: