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The BIGGEST mistake you can make planning your wedding
Stress-free wedding planningStress-free wedding planning: wedding planning

The BIGGEST mistake you can make planning your wedding

By Mell 20th of July, 2019

I want to talk to you about one of the BIGGEST mistakes I see couples make when they plan their wedding – working down a checklist.

You know the kind of thing – a wedding planner book or a snazzy Pinterest image with all the wedding planning ahead of you broken into panic-inducing sections like ‘organise twelve months before’. A giant list of everything you must have for your wedding, to be ticked off as you frantically organise them all.



Now, I get the temptation. You probably haven’t planned a wedding before so a checklist feels like you’ve been handed a cheat sheet for the perfect wedding.

You have a list of all the things you need to have in order to throw a wedding! You know how much money to spend and what the timeline is! You have the recipe!

But here’s the problem: you can’t mix £2,000 worth of flowers with a white wedding dress and a dash of envelope calligraphy and make the perfect wedding. The perfect wedding for you is perfect for you. It needs to have your humour and personality and style. It needs to feel like your day, a day no one else could have put together.

That can’t come from a checklist.

I was talking to a friend about this. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said, ‘I’m not going to use it like an actual checklist. I’m just going to see if there’s anything on there I haven’t thought of yet.’

Face, meet palm. Walt Disney, via GIPHY

But – and you may have spotted the flaw in his plan there – that’s still working down a checklist! That’s still using it as a be-all-end-all source on what’s allowed at weddings. And – worse still – it’s adding things you hadn’t thought of (and, so, wouldn’t notice if they weren’t there) to your to-do list and to your budget.

They’re not helpful, no matter how you plan to use them. All you can ever do with a checklist of what you should have at your wedding is worry that your wedding isn’t enough and add more things to it that you don’t really want or need. Let’s face it: the only thing you need to have is a marriage certificate. You don’t need an expensive outfit. You don’t need a three-course meal. You don’t need centrepieces.

And you don’t need to listen to anyone who says otherwise.

I’m not saying you should only have a marriage certificate, in some kind of utilitarian in-and-out, paperwork stamped, high-five that we’re legally responsible for each other’s debt service.

But it’s really, really easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re wedding planning. To feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. To want a bit of advice. So it’s really, really easy to listen when everyone – professionals, parents, people passing you on the street – tells you oh, you need this. You must spent more on this. You’ll regret it if you don’t get this.

And I just want to tell you: you won’t.

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A post shared by Mell at Gettin' Hitched Rocks (@gettinhitchedrocks) on Jun 18, 2019 at 10:05am PDT

If cummerbunds weren’t important to you when you were first planning your day – if you didn’t know what they were until someone asked what they were going to look like – why will they be important to you on the day?

Only you know what you care about having and what you’re not that fussed about. Only you can prioritise your budget and spend money on things you genuinely want at your wedding.

But, when you start going through a checklist, you start doubting your decisions. You wonder if you should have boutineers, and you should get a DJ, and you should spent more on your outfit – because the checklist says to.

So: don’t go down wedding checklists. Have the wedding you want instead. (Your budget will thank you for it!)

What do you think?

Agree? Disagree? Pistols at dawn? Let me know what you think in the comments.

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Are cummerbunds important to ANYONE?Checklists: the nemesis of wedding budgets everywhereI had to google the spelling of 'cummerbund'...We're legally responsible for each other's debt! High-five!Wedding planning mistakes
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Mell
Mell

After planning, designing, and coding her own wedding, Mell started Gettin' Hitched Rocks to help awesome couples stay WHELMED through the wedding planning process, with clever websites that do the work for them.

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About Gettin’ Hitched Rocks

About Gettin’ Hitched Rocks

Hi! I'm Mell.

I started Gettin’ Hitched Rocks to keep you whelmed while you plan your wedding, with wedding websites that do the wedmin for you and send automatic RSVP reminders to the people who need them, and matching stationery, so you can carry the design you love, with your personality shining through in every detail, across every part of your wedding, from save the dates to thank yous — and everything inbetween!

Stay whelmed with our free resources, interviews with real couples on what not to do, our regular Problem Pal advice column, and stress-free wedding planning advice.

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Instagram post 2184923565401275985_6061390435 Having a wedding website makes your life EASIER.⁠
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* Your mates can see the important details any time, anywhere, on any device.⁠
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* You can send automatic RSVP reminders, and avoid making those awkward phone calls.⁠
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* You can update your guests when details change with SMS notifications.⁠
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* You can show everyone EXACTLY what they need to see, so there's no FOMO, and no confusion. ⁠
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* You can spend more time with the person you're marrying!⁠
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Check out our demo and our full range of gorgeous, stress-free wedding designs at hitched.rocks (link in bio) to see how we can help make your wedding ROCK! ⠀⁠
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Instagram post 2182749256418173146_6061390435 A lot of couples ask us what they NEED to have at their weddings. What they SHOULD do. What people will EXPECT.⁠
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But there's no right and wrong way to have a wedding. As long as you're married at the end of it, you did it right. ⁠
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While people can add to your stress, insisting you get this or you'll regret not doing that, they only mean to help; at the end of the day, they're coming to your wedding because they love you. They're not going to grade you, your day, or the cummerbunds.⁠
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So have the day you want to have. Pick the bits of weddings you like. Leave the bits you don't. And feel confident that the only two people whose opinions matter are going to have a blast.⁠
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Instagram post 2181299723393895794_6061390435 Place settings let you organise your guests - and even your caterers!⁠
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We can print important notes, like 'vegan' or 'pescetarian', or even full menu choices on the back of our individual place setting cards, to make your day run smoothly. All while fitting in with the style and feel of your wedding. ⁠
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Instagram post 2179850144677069339_6061390435 A wedding website can take the stress out of wedding planning.⁠
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* Send automatic RSVP reminders, so you don't have to make those awkward phone calls.⁠
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* Update your guests easily when details change, and let them know with SMS notifications.⁠
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* Upgrade your mates from evening guests to full day guests when your second cousin's plus one can't make it - without them ever knowing they weren't in your top pick all along.⁠
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* Show everyone exactly what they need to see, so there's no confusion. (And no chance of your grandparents seeing what you did at your bachelor party…)⁠
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* Automatically collate your meal choices, the number of children and babies, song requests, and anything else you need. No counting and re-counting (and losing your place and re-counting again). ⁠
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* Spend more time with the person you're marrying - and less doing the wedmin you'd rather avoid!⁠
⠀⁠
Check out our demo and our full range of gorgeous, stress-free wedding designs at hitched.rocks (link in bio) to see how we can help make your wedding ROCK! ⠀⁠
⠀⁠
.⠀⁠
.⠀⁠
.⠀⁠
⠀⁠
#weddingplanning #weddingplanner #weddingplanningtips #weddingplanningideas #weddingplanningbegins #weddingstress #weddingwebsite #website #websitedesign #weddingoverwhelm #weddingrsvp #rsvp #automateyourwedmin #wedding #weddingsupplier #weddingsuppliers #weddingbusiness #staywhelmed #funwedding #quirkywedding #funweddings #unusualwedding #indiewedding #gettinhitchedrocks
Instagram post 2177675911678351390_6061390435 When you get engaged, everyone from your parents to your dog walker will weigh in on what your wedding should be like, what you need to have and wear and do.⁠
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But it's your wedding. And the only opinions that matter are yours and your partner's.⁠
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Don't feel pressured into following traditions you don't like, having a bigger day than you're comfortable with, wearing something that doesn't feel like you, or spending more than you want to.⁠
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Your wedding is your wedding. It should feel like you. Not Miss Manners, circa 1803.⁠
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It's not rude to say no. It's not rude to ignore advice. It's not rude to not invite thirty second cousins you've never met. And it's not rude to turn down offers to contribute to your wedding, especially if they come with an expectation that you'll do things a certain way.⁠
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Take a deep breath. You've got this.⁠
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Instagram post 2176226280247290197_6061390435 Orders of service are a great way to keep your guests in the know and organise your wedding.⁠
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Lay out rough timings of the day. Print your hymn or ceremony reading words, so everyone gets it right. Introduce the wedding party, explain how you met each other, or warn people what time you switch over to a cash bar.⁠
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It's something everyone will see, so put the information they need to see in there!⁠
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Instagram post 2174776805490357037_6061390435 Our wedding websites work on mobile, tablet, laptop... and anything else that has an internet connection! So your guests can get the information they need any time, anywhere, on any device.⁠
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Check out our demo and find out how a wedding website can keep you WHELMED on hitched.rocks. (Link in bio.)⁠
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Instagram post 2172604858456954680_6061390435 'I'll Be There For You' by Louise Cuddon is the perfect poem to read at your ceremony.⁠
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It's romantic - but not cheesy. It's funny - but not irreverent.⁠
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Check out the full poem - as well as some other suggestions for readings that won't make you cringe - on our blog. (Link in bio or copy and paste: https://blog.gettinhitched.rocks/romantic-wedding-readings-that-arent-cheesy)⁠
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Instagram post 2171152851547890504_6061390435 Some people will miss your guest book. Some people will avoid your photo booth. But your table plan is the one part of your day you KNOW every guest will see. So have some fun with it!⁠
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Make it fit your personality and your style with table names that reflect your hobbies. Or that tell the story of how you met, with different places that are important to you.⁠
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We have a list of ideas to get you started on our blog (link in bio). And we have a bunch of gorgeous table plan designs, like this one, we can customise to fit your wedding on hitched.rocks.⁠
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